It's also not entirely true. I absolutely LOVE change that makes my life better, that improves my ability to succeed, that increases how far I'm able to take my students (whether those students are teenagers or adults). I was constantly looking for ways to change things up in my classroom and now I'm always on the lookout for new tools that can help other teachers at my school.
The change that I hate is change that I can't control that happens TO me. Since 2010, I feel like my professional life has been out of my control. First, I added a new certification because job security. Then I went back to school in an entirely different field (again, because job security). Both of the changes were successful, but stressful. Not because I wasn't able to succeed at first, but because I worry about all the things that can go wrong.
Once I took my new position of ITS and then fully left the classroom, each year has brought a new change to what my day looks like. This past year has been awesome as I've had a co-worker who gets and supports my vision for what the role should look like. Working together hasn't always been easy (spending 8+ hours in an office with the same person can take a toll on the friendship), but we've had lots of success with our goals and projects. The feedback from our school and district has been overwhelmingly positive and encouraging. As the year wraps up, we naturally began making plans for next year. Then, BOOM!
More change came because my co-worker is leaving. Huge props to him, as he moves to a district office position in a neighboring district. But that change, while an awesome opportunity for him, leaves me worrying again about the change in my own life. Stress about what could go wrong. Go down the black hole, as I call it.
I printed it and posted it on my wall. As Hemingway said, I need to train myself to NOT worry about what could go wrong and instead accept that amazing things can happen as a result of all change, even change that happens to me instead of change that is driven by me. My personal history has shown that to be true - very little change that has happened in my life has had negative lasting consequences except for the stress that I put in my own mind by worrying.
So instead, with this post, I commit to looking for the positive possible outcomes that change brings. I can't control the change, but I can control how I react to it. As one of my favorite authors wrote, "What’s comin’ will come, an’ we’ll meet it when it does.” (J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire). That's all I can do...prepare for it and then deal with it when it gets here. And when it all plays out, it will be amazing and far better than I could have ever imagined.